Guatemala – Day 1

As I left the house early this morning, I walked into each of my family members room’s and kissed them on the cheek and told them I love them. Last night, I hugged and loved my G*ma and my Bestie and her little man. It’s a bittersweet feeling to travel, my last trip I came home to very tragic and life changing events. I lost my close friend Dayton to a car accident and two weeks later a sweet friend, Lindsey, to cancer. Although, I cannot allow the fear of losing someone I truly love to keep me from traveling and doing what God has called me to do, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. It’s hard enough to lose someone close to you and even harder with circumstances leading up to and following the loss. It’s been seven months since Dayton’s accident. It has forever changed my life. I have been broken down. I’ve experienced new types of heartache. I have questioned. I have been angry … lots and lots of emotion. And most of all, I have searched God in a whole new way! I was angry with Him for a while. I questioned Him more than I have ever questioned in my life. And as I question Him, I’m still thinking in the back of my head, ‘Who am I to question God? Have I lost my mind?’ I can say that through my suffering and my pain I am searching for God. When I was in the Philippines, Dayton shared with me that he was starting to read the bible. He wanted to figure things out for himself. He didn’t want me to share anything about the bible, he just asked where he should start … Old Testament or New Testament … I suggested the New Testament and started reading along with him. It just brought me back the beginning, but I didn’t get that far into it because when I came back to the States things didn’t make sense in my little mind. Needless to say, I still don’t understand why God took Dayton from this earth. I don’t understand a lot of things, but through these months of being broken and battling with anger, I do know God is using this situation for something bigger than I can image. It’s a struggle to remember that, but I have to remind myself daily, even though it’s still hard to accept.

This trip is another reminder of how God works. We started around 6:00am and drove to Miami, boarded our flight to Guatemala, had another couple hour drive before arriving in Magdelena, where we will be staying this next week. We had a mini orientation after a late dinner, made a quick house visit to a local family whom they have been working closely with to help. Then it was off to bed a little after midnight. I will most certainly share in more detail about our house visit.